Busy writing, but not here

I've been on a bit of a break here, mostly for lack of time and also because of this little guy:

He's found a secret access point to my computer, so he loves to sneak up ninja-style and grab my mouse and keyboard while I'm trying to work. So if I have time and can get him away from this temptation, I spend all my time working and not so much blogging.

However, some things I have been writing for work at very applicable here. So instead of writing a new post, I'll share my most recent articles on ksl.com.

First:


Break your diet? Don't feel bad

So you cheated on your diet. You caved in and had a second (or third) piece of birthday cake, got a super-sized combo meal, or dug out that chocolate bar you've been hiding in the back of the pantry. Now what?

Using the internet for exercise motivation


How do you merge the addictive power of the Internet with the unsurpassed benefits of an active lifestyle? Here are a few success stories of Utahns making it happen.



Enjoy!

The scale! It's moving!

After two weeks of this new meal plan, all was going well... Until my baby got the cold that I had, and slight chaos reigned in the Maxfield household. By the end of week two, I was back to my old ways and not even caring. Even my blasted soda habit was back—one can, sometimes two, a day—and I had the bloated belly to prove it.

I had one minor victory, which was that I fought the fast food urge and haven't had any in two weeks. Still, I was pretty mad at myself yesterday that I've slipped so far and I vowed to begin again, AND kick the Coke to the curb once and for all. The craving was really strong this morning (at 9 a.m.! How pathetic is that?) but I'm proud to say that I resisted the urge and made myself a green smoothie instead.

About an hour and a half later, I got back on the scale out of curiosity, since I haven't weighed in over a week. I was kind of expecting a gain, but lo, such was not my fate. On the contrary: I lost weight!!!

I lost a total of 3 pounds in about a week and a half, I'm now almost 5 pounds below my pre-baby weight: I'm now at 151! 

HUZZAH!!!

So, even though I didn't stick to the plan 100%, it is definitely working. With my renewed dedication and the mental boost from the movement on the scale, I am psyched and ready to keep going.

Who's with me???

Food as fuel

It's been a little harder than I thought getting into this new meal plan, but not in the way I expected. I've been really good at eating the oatmeal and veggie wraps, but it's been really hard for me to eat on schedule and get the juice/smoothie in. Not sure why this is exactly, other than the fact that time is always an issue when you have a baby. But I keep working at it, and it's getting better every day.

The main thing I really love about this plan is that it helps me remember that food is for fuel, not for pleasure. OK, it kind of is for pleasure, and it should taste good or else we wouldn't want to eat it. Also, there's nothing wrong with a little snack or dessert every now and then. But the day-to-day business of food is not about satisfying our junk-food lust; it's about giving our body what it needs. When you do this, you do feel satisfied—not to mention full of energy.

This is the concept behind Tres Hatch's book, as I mentioned earlier this week. With this regimented plan that takes the body's dietary needs in mind, and is created to keep the metabolism working at max capacity, it's been really easy to keep in mind that food is for fuel.

I still have intense cravings for fast food every now and then, especially soda and large fries, but hopefully those cravings will subside the more I stick to this plan. Though I was skeptical that I'd be satisfied with a veggie wrap for lunch, I actually am. That's how I know that my food is working for me and I'm getting the nutrients I need to keep going.

That's the update. Is anyone else doing this plan or something similar? Share your experience and tell us what you like about it!

Eat what you want

This may seem like backwards advice for someone trying to be healthy and lose weight. Actually, it's not—at least not when you add this clarification: Eat what your body wants.

My mom has a friend who has lost 110 pounds and discovered the great "a-ha" for making it happen. The friend wrote a book, and my mom wrote a great article about it all:

What the diet industry doesn't want you to know - ksl.com

I've been to a class by this friend, Tres Hatch, and what she teaches is so intuitive. It's not an earth-shattering concept, yet for some reason it's a message that's too often lost in the mad dash for weight loss. There's really no secret combination for healthy eating; it's simply a matter of fulfilling your body's needs. While it can be tricky to learn to listen to what your body wants, it's a skill worth having.

Some things I've realized after listening:

• When I'm craving salt, I'm actually dehydrated and thirsty.
• When I'm craving sugar, I've had too much salt and not enough fruit.
• When I'm craving carbs, I'm in need of an emotional boost (it's my sad day, PMS go-to).

Take a few days and listen to yourself. I know it's hard to ignore the screaming-for-chocolate cravings, but this is a skill worth developing. Though it's not 100 percent easy to stick to this method—especially if your cravings are raging out of control—it's a wonderful natural blueprint to follow for learning how to fuel your body properly and getting it to function at its highest levels.

This is perfect for me now, as I start my new regimen. I started halfheartedly yesterday but didn't have all the necessary ingredients. So today, it's on. Wish me luck!

Sicky

Bleh. Today is not wonderful.

I got sick over the weekend—a nasty cold in the middle of the summer. I was improving and thought I'd be better by now. Alas, I am not. I'm still sicky.

I was all set to start my new plan, but I'm not sure if that's the best idea when I probably should be swilling OJ and chicken soup. It will have to wait.

Until then, I'm going to go lay on the couch with a box of tissues and a stack of chick flicks. I hope Evan likes "Pride and Prejudice."

It's on like Donkey Kong

OK, done with moping and feeling stressed. Now that Evan sleeps and has a consistent schedule, it's time that I work on mine. I have no more excuses for stagnating here. It's time to get back on the horse. And I have a plan.

First, I've gone back to putting on my workout clothes first thing in the morning. My son has become quite the mama's boy and has a lot of separation anxiety, so even if he's happily playing, when he catches sight of me he whines and scurries on over and starts climbing me until he has my full attention. I'm working on easing that, but until then, if we're in the same room and I'm not occupied, I'm going to be doing strength training exercises. That way, at the very least he'll get the message that he can't climb on me and expect the desired result, and if it works, I'll be motivated to keep it up.

Now, on with the healthy eating. My dear friend Melanie messaged me a while ago about juicing. Since it's essentially the same thing as my green smoothies and she has a structured daily meal plan that I desperately need, I'm going to give it a whirl. Here's her basic daily rundown:

• 7:30 a.m. - Cooked oatmeal and fresh fruit: As much fruit as you want, like grapefruit, apples, berries, oranges, etc. Oatmeal must be the kind you cook, not instant.
• 9 a.m. - Water (always 8 oz.)
• 10 a.m. - Juice (always 8 oz.)
• 11 a.m. - Water
• 12 p.m. - Veggie wrap: Fill with spinach, cilantro, fresh basil, tomatoes, cucumbers or anything else that's fresh and tasy. You can also add brown rice or beans in the wrap, but no meat or dairy.
• 1 p.m. - Water
• 2 p.m. - Juice
• 3 p.m. - Water
• 4 p.m. - Juice
• 5 p.m. - Dinner: Eat small portions of the family meal, which should be light and healthy with plenty of steamed veggies, good carbs and other wholesome foods.
• 6:30 - 7:30 p.m. - Juice

This isn't too far off from what I already do, except for two notable differences: No meat at lunch, when I usually eat dinner leftovers, and I'm substituting my smoothies for the juice and will split it into four servings instead of two.

For those of you who want to try juicing, here's her basic recipe for an 8 oz. juice:

• 7-10 carrots
• 1 apple
• 1 lemon wedge
• 1 beet wedge
• 2 leaves of greens
• 1 orange
• A few berries

My fridge is all but empty right now, which is good. I've purged the junk (and the moldy leftovers of dinners gone by) and I can start over with just the good stuff. Tomorrow I'm hitting up the farmers market, and starting Monday this meal plan IS ON.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that I'm the queen of big motivated starts and slow fizzling out. I hope this time is different. Maybe it will be because of Melanie. She's one of the most driven people I know, and it's contagious. Not only that, but she used to be my running partner years ago and she had me awake and jogging faithfully at 6 a.m. every day, even though I didn't have to be awake for hours. That is an enormous accomplishment! So Melanie, if you're reading this, keep pushing me!

And that goes for all of you, especially if I see you in real life (or if we're friends on Facebook). Please PLEASE push me to keep it up! If not this specifically, help me stay on the wagon in general. That's why I started this blog after all, so don't be shy. I can do this, but I need help.

And here I go...

In a haze

Ho-hum.

That's how I've been feeling about this whole healthy living thing. The main reason is, we've been sleep training our very obstinate, very vocal child. At the beginning of this process, the time he spent shrieking and throwing toys (and even throwing himself out of the crib, once) has surpassed the time he's been napping. At one point I'm sure I shed more tears than he did. Needless to say, it has not been a good week.

But the sleep gods have finally prevailed upon us, and lo, he slumbers! Though the night! And during naptime! We are at last a happy family.

But here's the irony: Just as he's learned to sleep, I've forgotten. My insomnia is back, and I've been up until 1 or 2 a.m. every night. I just can't catch a break.

So even though he now has a consistent schedule and he's keeping to that schedule, I'm having a hard time doing what I need to do. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. Maybe it's this heavy heat. Maybe it's because the newness of being at home all day has worn off and a little melancholy has settled in. Maybe it's all of the above, and something else I have yet to identify. Who knows.

Whatever it is, progress it not being made on this project, or really on anything other than my now-happy baby. The sacrifices of motherhood.

So, now that his major hurdle has been crossed, it's time to focus on me for a bit. It's time to bring back the personal goals as well as the fitness goals. This should not only get me back on track exercise-wise, but pull me out of the stay-at-home funk. I hope.

Here we go...

For the week of August 15 - August 20:

Personal goals: Laugh every day, "clock out" and relax every evening, try a new activity (big or small) with Evan every day

Physical goals: Crunches daily, drink 64 oz. of water a day, walks 3 times a week


That will get me started. Until then, carry on, my friends.

Don't give up because you gave in

I read an article yesterday that not only motivated me, but gave me something great to try when I feel like giving up.


Columnist Loa Blasucci wrote in the Deseret News about people who are doing well on a weight loss program, then they hit a bump, give in to foodie temptation and fall off the wagon, then give up because they stumbled. She writes,

"A client said to me, 'I was doing great. I was on program, and then I ate a cupcake. I felt so guilty I spiraled out of control. I’m angry with myself because I let it all go.'

Does that sound familiar? It does to me. And how silly is it that just because we give into an indulgence we give up on our entire goal or consider ourselves lost? We don't judge our eternal salvation on one indiscretion; we correct the behavior, seek forgiveness, vow to be better, and then try again. Why should weight loss be any different? Loa writes,

"Our bodies are in a perpetual state of recovery and healing. When we eat well, exercise and maintain a calm, content disposition, we are thriving. But in the day-to-day of it all, life isn’t perfect. There will be bumps along the way. How we deal with the bumps determines whether or not we can manage our weight."

That's a new perspective I haven't dwelt on. It's not just about how hard we work out or how faithfully we stick to a program; it's about bringing ourselves back after we fall and staying committed to picking ourselves up, again and again if necessary.


Loa has a solution for helping us stay positive and get back on track quickly after we make mistakes. She suggests dividing the day into thirds rather than an entire 24-hour chunk. She says to write down what you think a "good day" is within in section, comprised of morning, midday and evening. As you go through that section, check off as many of those good things as you've completed. Assess where you need to try harder, then move on to the next section and leave the shortcomings behind. That way, if you do have a cupcake-related indiscretion, you won't feel that you've ruined your entire day and may as well finish a baker's dozen.


To get the full effect of her method, read her article here. It's wonderful and gives good ideas as to what we can fill our sections with. This is particularly helpful to me now, as I'm trying to figure out a day's routine for my little guy and myself at home. This post may be amended to show that, but I'll just end with this thought:

"Forget about being on a diet; feel enjoyment in your life and gratitude for the chance to slim down and care for yourself. When you marvel at the gift your body is and find gratitude for all the systems that keep you up and running every day, guilt — or, anger turned inward — slips slowly away."

Guess what else I'm fighting

For the past few weeks I've been working with KSL on a very personal story, and last night it aired.

Most of you will know by now that I have bipolar disorder — but as you can tell from reading my blog, I'm a pretty happy person. Happiness and mental illness are not contradictory, nor are they mutually exclusive. That's why I wanted to share my story: To prove that no matter what challenge you face, it is possible to find peace and joy and make a good life for yourself. It is not easy and it takes an enormous amount of work every day, but it's worth it.

Here it is:

ksl.com - There is life beyond bipolar diagnosis

I can do amazing things

Women and weight loss. It's a combination that's more parasitic than complementary. When undertaking any sort of get-fit program, if you're like me you spend 5% of your time devising a plan you can live with, 10% of your time acting on it, 15% of your time justifying why you haven't stuck to it, and the rest is spent bemoaning your size and shape and every little failure you've ever had.

The other day I was looking at photos of me in the hospital when Evan was born. While no woman looks good after giving birth, I've found particular disgust in my photos.

This is the result of 36 hours of labor followed by a C-section, and what feels like 5 gallons of IV fluid:

He is the most beautiful, perfect thing ever, and I'm a blimp in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

This is the one time a woman is allowed to look like she's been through hell and back, because she has, and all for the most noble cause in all mankind. I know this and I truly believe this—so why am I so ashamed of how I look in these photos?

It made me realize, if I can't look beyond my own appearance after undertaking such a grueling and miraculous feat, I have bigger image issues than I thought.

It's time to shift my point of view. From now on: 

I will not measure my life by its low points. I will celebrate myself for the amazing things I have done and will continue to do.

I may not be an Olympian or have a runner's body or resemble my former beauty queen self again. But I can do amazing things. Here are just a few:

1. I conceived, carried and gave birth to a healthy child.
2. I can soothe and care for this child when he is hurt, angry, tired or scared.
3. I am a caring friend and can make others feel validated and understood.
4. I can laugh and find happiness in life even when everything seems broken.
5. I have faith that everything will turn out well and I can persevere in times of crisis.

Rest assured, I am not abandoning my goal of being healthy and fit. I am simply choosing to reframe my quest. Instead of keeping track of every failure and bump in the road, I will be proud of what I do accomplish and vow to do my best every day. Even if I haven't reached any big fitness goals for the day, I will look for the positive in all things and stop overlooking the efforts I  continually make to be a good person and make someone's life a little better.

Now, for a little perspective. I was not made to look like this:

Or this:

Or this:

I was made to look like this:

Happy, healthy, and getting a kick out of life.

Most importantly, 

I was made to be this:

...and we're back, baby!

The Lake Powell vacation is over, but I'm happy to say it was not full of regret — just good old fashioned fun in the sun. We got off to a rough start, what with a sinking jet ski crash landing us on the world's worst beach and a baby enraged over the lifejacket scenario. But the rest was great, albeit a bit exhausting. It takes work wrangling that kid of mine, but it was so fun to relax with family and enjoy the gorgeous scenery I've missed so much.

I'm also happy to say I don't look as bad as I thought in a swimsuit. True, I am far from the best shape of my life, and this cocoa butter stuff isn't doing jack for the stretch marks. But whatever size I am, I'm glad I have an hourglass figure so I at least look like a woman, not a flat 12-year-old boy or a burly linebacker dude. There are always things to be happy about, and I'm choosing to be happy about the fact that I am healthy and curvy the way Marilyn Monroe did us all proud!

Speaking of healthy, I'm back on the smoothies and balanced eating, and getting over soda once again. And for whatever reason, despite eating out while on vacation, I came home a few pounds lighter — back down to 153! It must be all that aforementioned child wrangling I do. Nice!

Now that I'm home and used to the full-time mom thing, I'm getting active again. Here's one way I weave it into our daily routine:

I wear my baby while I tidy the house. As you can see, he's a big fella — about a third the size of me (not in weight yet, thank heavens). This picture doesn't truly do him justice, though. There's a reason we call him Moose and Stout Lad. To wit:

See the enormous diaper? We have to buy him a size 5 to be big enough to fit around his monstrous thighs, which we affectionately call his "thunders." And yes, I will admit he gets that from me. Poor thing.

He's also a physical challenge for me because he's incredibly strong and insanely determined. When he has decided to climb you using your hair as a rope, it nearly takes the jaws of life to pry him off. He's started "giving kisses," which I put in quotation marks because it's actually a face mauling. It's adorable and so endearing, but seriously, when he catches me off guard he yanks my head so hard I feel my neck pop. Yowza.

So needless to say, I'm keeping busy. I have some fresh determination and a better handle on my new situation, and life is good. I'm ready to get back in action and start fighting the fat!!!

Failure, regret and Lake Powell

Throughout my childhood and teen years, a week-long trip to Lake Powell has been an annual tradition. It's one of my favorite vacations, and probably one of my favorite places in Utah. I love almost everything about it—even the over-like heat. It's the perfect place to lounge, unplug and make happy memories.

In my late teens and early 20s, Lake Powell took on another meaning: It became a deadline. As spring neared and I had to face the winter weight I'd so carelessly packed on, I would vow to lose it (and maybe a little bit extra) by the time the Lake Powell trip came around.

I never did.

To be clear, I've gained and lost weight with some regularity over the past 10-plus years, so it isn't that I've never been able to slim down at all. In fact, I worked really hard before each pageant I competed in and always felt proud of myself during that brief but all-important swimsuit competition.

This is different. For whatever reason, this one weight loss deadline I've continually set is the one deadline I have never, ever made.

This year is no exception.

Soon I will go on my first Lake Powell trip since I met Aaron, and although my life is entirely different than in trips past, this state of failure and regret remains the same. Although I have made respectable progress in the course of this blog, my decision to go AWOL comes at the worst time. I've lost all my baby weight, true, but the little bit extra I also lost has come back. What's worse, since I've been heedlessly chugging soda the past month, I am bloated like a beached whale. Needless to say, I am not in fantastic swimsuit shape. I KNOW I could have—and SHOULD have—done better.

Life will go on and I know I will still have a wonderful time on this trip, but I can't help be saddened by my own failings, yet again. It's not so much that I've had a few ill-timed bumps in the road; it's that, once again, I have let my complacency get the better of me and failed to meet yet another goal, one that I desperately wanted to make.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Whew! It's been a crazy couple of weeks, to say the least. Rest assured all is well. In fact, things are better than "well"—they are fantastic. But first, to recap:

At first I was AWOL because I hurt my knee (I have no idea how, but it's been killing me) so working out has been shelved. Then I was absent out of shame because it was my birthday and I lived it up for a few days, eating anything and everything and not feeling guilty for one second. But when I woke up the day after my birthday, oh BOY was I feeling it. My body isn't used to eating all that junk anymore and it was really mad at me. I was so sick the entire day. I can honestly say I do not want to make that mistake again!

Now, the main reason I've been gone and the reason why things are fantastic: There are some changes around here. As of today I am officially a work-from-home mom, and I am ecstatic!

I've been agonizing over my job for weeks now. I have really, REALLY loved it, but as my baby has gotten older it's gotten a lot harder. My schedule is different every day, which was fine when he was a newborn and slept most of the time. But now that he's older things have changed.

Not only does Evan need the stability of having a routine and a predictable schedule, he needs a mom who isn't so divided, both mentally and physically. Instead of enjoying my time with him before heading to work, my days turned into one big checklist and I was rushing him through everything that had to be finished before we got out the door. He was unhappy and just wanted Mommy, but I couldn't even be there for him when I was physically there.

I knew I couldn't do that to him and I had to make a change, but since I couldn't make my current job fit my family's needs I had to step back. I am still an on-call employee and get to manage my special section of the website, which is awesome, but I am no longer on the schedule. Instead I am a work-from-home editor for a variety of news outlets, and so far I am loving it. He's happy, I'm happy, we're all happy. I know it won't always be sunshine and roses, but I know this was the best decision for our family and it's all for the sake of ensuring my child has a loving and stable home. Who could ask for more?

So... Now that I'm at home full time, the task is at hand: Making exercise a daily part of our routine. I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing for a few days until I get the hang of our new situation, but I'm really excited to essentially have a blank canvas to work with, never again to rush through a task or forsake a goal just to get to work on time.

Life is good :)

It's worth a try

I found some beauty products in the bargain bins that claim to help me with a few "problem areas."

I've been using the cocoa butter for a month now and still no improvement on the stretch marks, but honestly I don't really expect to see one. I think if there really was a cure then everyone would know and nobody would have stretch marks ever again.

The cellulite cream I've been using for about a week, but that I really do hope to see something. I've had good results with the Avon one in the past, so I have at least minimal expectations for success with this.

Either way, they cost me a grand total of $6.50 together. What do I have to lose?

Judgment Day, Part 3

Huh. Not sure what to make of this.

This past month I've worked out the most since I started this project and I've stuck with the healthy diet. The scale is finally moving down again -- 153! -- and my clothes keep getting baggier. And yet, I don't see much change in these photos, or in my measurements.

Maybe it's all coming off of my face or somewhere I'm not measuring. Maybe the scale is a liar. Who knows. It is really frustrating, though, that I make the most progress when I do the least. I know that's not right, but that's what the evidence points to right now.

Well, instead of letting myself get too discouraged, I'll end with a comparison that really does show all my hard work:

And can we all agree that these are the most unflattering shorts ever??? Ug.

A new month, some new goals and new inspiration

It's been about a week and a half since I added personal goals to my workouts. I was really pleased to hear from those of you who said you wanted to join me in some of these. I could not be happier about that! The more people working for good, the better our world will be. 


For me, this week was definitely a good time to add these goals. Quite a bit of tension is cropping up at work, and with the ongoing stress over bills and such I really needed all the positivity I could muster. 


Well, I'm proud to say it worked.


Here's what I pledged last week:


Physical goals: 
-Crunches daily
-Cardio three times a week


Personal goals:
-Smile at everyone I meet
-Sincerely compliment at least one person a day


I am happy to report that I met my physical goals... until the weekend, as usual. But it's the best I've done so far, and I am proud of that. I also feel that I'm getting a lot stronger. I can haul my Moose Baby around a lot easier and my stamina is increasing.


Surprisingly, I found it much easier to do cardio -- that thing I loathe the most -- than to sincerely compliment someone every day. It made me rethink my interactions with people, which is a good thing, but  it also made me realize I don't often get past the surface with others. I found myself trying to think up compliments for the people I knew I would see that day, which defeats the purpose of making them sincere and individual. Even though I really did mean them, I don't think it counts if it was planned. 


I also kept up the smiling and cheerfulness -- also very genuine -- which really went a long way at work. I always find that positivity multiplies. Each time you get past something stressful or upsetting, you realize just how strong you are and become empowered to try again. Not only does it get easier, you build on that strength until it becomes second nature to react to live with determination and positivity.


So this week, I will keep my goals rolling and add to them. Before I do, I want to share some new inspiration for the week (or two).


I recently read an article in the June 2009 Ensign called "Hope: The Misunderstood Sister" by Larry Hiller. The part I want to share isn't about hope, but her sister Charity. Hiller describes her this way:

"I picture Charity as being modest and refined, beautiful and gracious. In her presence you feel genuinely loved and accepted. She's unfailingly kind and generous, patient, empathetic, aware of every need, and responsive without being asked. How could you not want the companionship of someone like Charity?"

I will go one step further: How could you not want to be someone like Charity?


From this passage I will derive my personal goals for the next few weeks. I will keep the physical goals the same but add to them until I get my butt into shape.


For the week(s) of June 1 - June 11, 2011:

Physical goals: 

-Crunches daily

-Cardio three times a week

-Leg exercises three times a week

Personal goals: 

-Look for opportunities to engage in meaningful conversation. 

-Ask people questions about themselves and learn to appreciate who they are as a person.

What do you pledge to do this week?

Guess who likes green smoothies?

Although you can't tell by the look on his face here, he was loving it!

Time for some more changes

I keep having these end-of-the-world disaster dreams. Maybe it's because I work in the news and see this stuff every day. Maybe it's because, subconsciously, I feel I need to be better prepared -- not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Life is far too short to be wasting it and not living up to my potential.

A month or two ago I woke up from one of these dreams in a panic, sure it was some kind of sign that I needed to have emergency kits for my baby. Proudly I did complete these and now have one for not just our home but for his babysitter and both sets of his grandparents. I thought this would make the dreams go away, but I had another one last night that made me feel I need to be prepared in less physical ways.

After thinking about it, I've decided that in addition to getting my body in shape through this blog I need to work on the internal aspects of myself.

A year and a half ago I came to a similar decision in my life. I was stuck in a negative place and, despite all the good things I had going for me, I was angry, miserable and consumed by stress. I finally decided enough was enough. I realized it wasn't the external world that was causing these feelings; I was the one allowing them to foster and grow. If I wanted to be happy, I had to take control.

I started small and decided to first learn to control my stress. I did this by focusing on keeping my cool when driving. (Incidentally, I recently wrote an article on this for ksl.com.) The way I stayed calm was to drive compassionately -- meaning, remembering that everyone makes mistakes and I do it too, and that the things other people do on the road are not meant to personally offend or injure me. I let people in, I waved to others who let me in, I moved over for cyclists and I resisted the urge to tailgate or honk when someone was driving ridiculously slow.

It worked. Gradually I saw these habits take hold in other areas of my life. I learned to stop seeing the misdeeds of others as personal affronts and I learned to separate myself and my happiness from another person's anger. I became empowered to walk away from negative situations and gained confidence to seek out a better life. In the end, I became a happier person, a better friend, and a more patient and understanding wife. And now, it's helped me to be a caring and joyful mother.

Through all this I learned a major life lesson: If you want to change the behavior of someone else, all you have to do is change yourself. When you are kind, patient and caring, you will soften the hearts of those around you. If you change, everything else will too.

I like to think that the world (or at least my small corner of it) is a better place because of the joy I try to spread. But, even though I'm 10 times better than I was two years ago, there is still so much room for improvement.

So, in addition to working on my physical self, I will add new personal goals. I will continue my quest to find and spread happiness and to be a force for good in the world. Starting now.

For the week of May 22 - May 28, 2011:

Physical goals: Crunches daily, cardio three times a week
Personal goals: Smile at everyone I meet, sincerely compliment at least one person a day


Now... anyone else ready to change the world?

Weekly recipe roundup: Trainer edition

To sum up my efforts last week, I would say it was a pretty good success. If I were just going by the checklist I wouldn't have done so well, but the reason I had to skimp a bit was because I was just too sore to do some of that stuff and I had to let my muscles recover. All in all, I'm excited about the new workout and I can't wait to see bigger results!

Now, as promised, the weekly recipe roundup you'd pay hundreds of dollars for. That's because I did pay it, in an indirect way. In 2008 when I had awesome health insurance that contributed to this sort of thing, I went to a personal trainer. I worked with Jason at Custom Fit Personal Training in Sugarhouse, and it was worth every penny. If you are able to and are serious about getting fit, I highly recommend this place. It's a small private gym with a handful of trainers and the only time you're allowed in is when you have an appointment or to use the cardio machines. That way there aren't a million sweaty people in line for the weights and it's very one-on-one. After 6 weeks at Custom Fit I lost 10 pounds and 10 inches — and that's only because I cheated and hardly ever did cardio.

The other reason Jason was awesome is because he let me have carbs in my meal plan. And that's what I'm sharing with you in this week's recipe roundup. He gave me two plans, so today I'll start with the beginner and then next week I'll give you the high-protein power plan.

Breakfast:
1 Kroger brand Carb Master yogurt
Handful of berries
2 scoops protein
      -or-
1/2 cup cooked oatmeal (not packaged)
Handful of berries

Snack:
1/2 apple
3-4 oz. jerky
      -or-
Carrots and celery

Lunch:
Sandwich with Sara Lee Carb Smart bread or low-carb tortilla, 2 packages lunch meat, mustard, spinach
1/2 apple
      -or-
Salad with spinach, romaine and red leaf lettuce, tomato, and cucumber with vinaigrette dressing
1 grilled or broiled chicken breast

Snack:
2 sticks string cheese
      -or-
1-2 hard boiled eggs

Dinner:
1 grilled or broiled chicken breast
Steamed or grilled veggies
1/2 cup cottage cheese


Looking back through my measurements from the trainer, it's clear my body has changed after having a baby. Now, my thighs are a tiny bit smaller, my arms are a tiny bit bigger and my waist is exactly the same -  but my hips are 5 inches bigger. While the thought of my hips horrifies me at first, I actually feel better because that's not just fat, that's an actual change in my bone structure. Sadly, if it hasn't gone back to normal after 7 months I really don't think it will now. But hey, you can't win 'em all. I'll just work on what I can and accept the rest.

Hurts so good

I've got a new workout that's kicking my butt! Move over Wii Fit, it's all about The Biggest Loser on Xbox Kinect.

After playing soccer, track & field and boxing on Kinect Sports the other day and working up a pretty good sweat, I had it in my mind that The Biggest Loser game would be just as fun. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it "fun," because it got pretty intense. And it's not a game, it's a full-on personal training session. Since it tracks my entire body while I'm doing the exercises, it would tell me what I'm doing wrong and how to improve, like "lunge lower" and "kick higher." It wasn't what I was expecting—it was much better.



I think I got in the best workout I've had since starting this project. I was beat after 20 minutes, and now I'm pretty sore—but the really good kind of sore where you know you worked hard and you earned those calories burned!

That's it for now. No recipe roundup today because I'm working up something really good. Like, something you'd pay hundreds of dollars to have.  Get excited...

I've got a plan

I tried to avoid an intense regimen with lots of rules and I've said no to an official diet. I've always thought too many restrictions would make any weight loss plan impossible to follow -- but now, I think I'm changing my mind.

I'm finding out it's much easier to flake when there AREN'T rules and steps to follow. After all, if there's no process there's no accountability, and subsequently no progress.

I'm still not going on a traditional diet. I don't think that will ever be for me, and I don't think that's a  long-term solution anyway. But I do need an everything-else plan.

I thought about going high-tech with this, because there's a million apps for just such a purpose. But in the end I think a low-tech, down-to-basics approach will help me the best.

So, I've dusted off the ol' moleskin notebook and I'm making daily and weekly checklists. This way I not only know what's coming up and what's expected of me, I have the satisfaction of physically checking it off and seeing the visual progress there.

Here's what's on the agenda for this week:

Monday:
Kinect Sports (30 min)
Basic crunches (25x3)
Basic squats (15x3)
Lunges (15x3)

Tuesday:
Walk (on lunch break)
Push-ups (10x3)
Slide squats (15x3)

Wednesday:
Walk/jog with stroller (30 min)
Leg throw crunches (25x3)
Lunges (15x3)

Thursday:
Kinect Sports (30 min)
Reverse crunches (25x3)
Push-ups (10x3)

Friday:
Walk/jog with stroller (30 min)
Basic crunches (25x3)
Slide squats (15x3)

So there you have it. Admittedly, it's 1:15 on Monday afternoon and I have yet to do any of these things. That means I'm getting my husband involved and we're playing Kinect tonight!

Anyone have some additions to recommend? What other easy resistance training moves do you like?

Weekly Recipe Roundup

I've been slacking on the recipe roundups, so I'm going to shake it up this week. Instead of posting a recipe or two, I'm going to feature one of the best non-recipe food books I know: "Eat This, Not That."

To be fair, it's not just a book. There's a series of books, a segment in Men's Health magazine and a really cool website. If you haven't heard of it (and I can't imagine you haven't), the concept is simple: How to choose the healthiest of two food options whether at a restaurant, grocery store or even in your own home.

I've just spent a moment perusing the site and the slideshows of the best and worst. May I just say, I am appalled. Not in a self-righteous, I-will-not-stand-for-this kind of way -- I'm genuinely shocked and disgusted every time I go through their lists. I mean, a kid's meal pasta with 1,800 calories? A fajita and rice combo with the sodium equivalent of nearly 200 saltine crackers? A cake-and-ice-cream dessert with 88 grams of fat? DISGUSTING.

So play around on the website, check out some of the books, or have fun with the interactive quiz. Whatever you do, just remember to think twice before going out to dinner next time!

Judgment Day, Part 2

Well, this is a surprise.

If you've been following along the past month you'll know I haven't done a whole lot. Despite the best of intentions I have once again gotten complacent. I only lost 2 pounds this month, but then a mini vacation ruined all of that and I gained them right back.

And yet, my tummy continues to shrink. I'm baffled. Delighted, yet baffled.

So, without further ado, this month's photos:

I got away easy this time, but next time I may not be so lucky.

Despite my undeserved successes this month, it is a new month and time for new goals. This time, I will deserve whatever progress I make because I will be working hard!!!

I aim to lose 5 pounds in the month of May. I will accomplish this by:

• Doing cardio 3 times a week
• Strength training daily
• Cutting out soda
• Keep up fruit and veggie intake

I've also made a separate goal that's related to fitness. I'm trying to take my baby on a little outing at least four times a week, even if it's just to the grocery store. He needs some stimulus and I need to get moving, plus he loves people and I love to show him off—win-win! So I will plan as many of these outings as I can to involve some sort of movement on my part, and not just lugging him in an out of the car. Any ideas, please send them my way, or even join us. The more the merrier!

Because I'm realizing that I need more babysitting, I am fine tuning a more detailed plan to help me track and monitor my progress. More to come.

Until then, folks, I'm off to do some crunches!

Perception vs. reality

Sometimes I think I'm skinnier than I am. In obvious ways this is a bad thing for reasons relating to denial and delusion. But in many other ways this is good, because I don't obsess about my weight, I still feel pretty, and I think I look good in (most of) my clothes.

I'm starting to think my clothes have contributed to my current state. For one, I've been a crazed shopaholic, so if I got too big for something I had no problem buying something new to replace it.

But the main contributing factor, however, is something more complicated.

Despite going from a size 4 to a size 12 in about five years, I still like how I look in clothing. This is because I've learned a lot of tricks for dressing my body and making the most out of every item, whether camouflaging my tummy or making my legs look smaller or longer. My size may change but my body type doesn't, so I keep applying these same tricks and get the same outcome: a shapely, well-proportioned frame.

This is a great skill because I can always feel confident, stylish and pretty in whatever I wear. I don't want to blend into the walls, I don't hate my body and I feel I have more control over my appearance.

But maybe this is starting to be a problem. Maybe I have TOO MUCH control, and it's easy to hide behind figure-trimming tricks than burn calories.

Even worse, I fear my perception and my reality are diverging ever more by the day. For example, last week I bought a great pair of very mod, casual-Audrey-Hepburn grey cropped twill pants (on sale for $10!). I made an outfit around them that I was crazy about -- textured grey v-neck T-shirt, bright yellow cardigan, silver chain earrings and leopard print flats -- and I felt like hot stuff all day.

Moody Mod by roxiemaxx featuring slimming tops

Then I got home that night, with my makeup faded and my clothes a little rumpled, and had a longer look in the mirror.

All day I must have been thinking I looked like some little Gap commercial girl, all willowy and mod. The mirror told a different story. Try as I might (and believe me, I keep trying), cropped pants are just not a good look for me. Neither are skinny jeans. And a T-shirt is not always a friend to my midsection.

So now I'm confused.

It's NEVER wrong to feel confident about your looks. In fact, clothing should help you do just that. I truly believe that when you think you look good in an outfit or hairstyle, you shine. When that happens, people notice YOU and not the clothes -- so in the end, it doesn't really matter what size you are or that you don't have the perfect shape.

With as good as I felt that day, I'm sure I had that shine. I was happy, and I had great interactions with people because of that. And even though I didn't like how my body looked at the end of the day, I will still wear that outfit because I love it, and I love myself.

So, are clothes a problem? Probably not. Is hiding behind them a problem? Maybe. I'm not sure. While learning how to dress your body, flaws and all, and feel confident in your appearance is something everyone should learn, I guess it could be an issue if you let that be good enough and stop trying to improve.

I will stay confident, happy, and sassy in my clothes, but I can't let that be the end of it. I have to find a balance between accepting my body and having a desire to be better.

Recipe Roundup

As promised, here is the recipe for kale chips from Hannah. Looks yummy!

Hello there.  My name is Hannah Cowles and I am a stay at home mom who works part time at a family restaurant in Upstate NY, so needless to say I am always on the go.  This is a great recipe to make and bring for a healthy alternative to potato chips.  The beauty of this recipe is you can make it taste anyway you would like.  All you need to do is just add a couple of spices and some wonderful kale, and voila-Yumminess!

Hope you all enjoy!

Ingredients

• 1 large bunch Tuscan kale (10 to 12 leaves) if you don't have Tuscan Kale you can substitute for any local kale that is at your farmers market or grocery mart.  Just make sure that you get rid of the stalk and the rough parts of the leaves. Also use the scraps for a homemade veggie stock.  So good! :)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• Sea salt to taste
• Fresh ground pepper to taste
• Any seasonings you prefer.  I like oregano, basil, turmeric and chili pepper.

Directions

Preheat oven to 275°F.

Remove stalks and ribs from kale. Rinse and dry leaves. If they are organic, rinse several times because they will have silt from the sand.

Toss leaves in a large bowl with olive oil, just enough to cover them.  Sprinkle leaves with sea salt and ground pepper, and the seasonings you chose.

Arrange leaves in a single layer onto a baking sheet. Bake for approximately 30 minutes or until crisp. Make sure you watch. I put my clock on for 25 to make sure they don't overcook.

Transfer and let cool onto a wire rack or paper towels.

AND ENJOY!  They are so good, and my kids just eat them up. :)

Thanks Hannah. I'm interested to hear if other kids like these too. That's the real test on snacks!

Looking for some walking buddies

First off, my weekly recipe roundup will be a little late this week. We will have a guest post from my friend Hannah on homemade kale chips.

OK, so this blog of accountability isn't helping me quite shed the pounds like I'd hoped, and I'm still really struggling with finding the time (and motivation) to get my cardio in. It's time to step up my efforts and reach out to you, my supportive family and friends.

I want to start a walking group and I'm opening it up to anyone interested. We can choose set days with different times to accommodate people with various schedules. For example, Monday at noon, Wednesday at 6 p.m., Saturday at 10 a.m. So instead of having to decide when and where each time we will always know and can plan accordingly. We can switch up the locations around the Salt Lake Valley to get a change of scenery and help those who may be farther away.

Because I don't want to announce openly on the internet where we are going and when, I will start a Facebook group to give us more privacy. If you're not already my friend, please hit me up. You can also comment here and I'll find you.

I hope to get a good size group going, so please invite anyone you think would be interested. I'm excited to not only get moving but expand my social circle as well.

I am ridiculous

I should start this post out on a positive note before I go diving into the reasons why I'm ridiculous. First, I'm really proud of myself for sticking to my daily exercise goals for most of the week (until the weekend), and for cooking nearly every single day (until the weekend). Most importantly, I didn't have any soda the entire week, PLUS the weekend!

But now, on to an entertaining anecdote about why I'm pathetic.

As per usual, this weekend was rough. For reasons that are varied, I consumed pizza, cheesy potatoes, cake, ice cream, leftover pizza, hot dogs, pulled pork and cookies.

But this isn't why I'm pathetic. This is only the beginning.

We had family over to dinner who are diet soda people, so we had fresh lime for their drinks. As I was slicing them I remembered just how much I love regular Coke with lime and, because my husband is awesome and only keeps soda I don't like in the house, my craving for cola was intense. Not enough to drink diet, mind you; I do have my standards. Instead, I put the leftover limes in a plastic baggie and tucked them away in the fridge.

I thought about those stupid limes all night (even while eating chocolate chip cookies!) and into the next day until I could contain the craving no more. Instead of breaking down and drinking the Diet Pepsi in the fridge, or even going to the store to buy a real Coke, I decided to take the limes into work and visit the precious, evil soda fountain there.

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I swear it was like I was smuggling a baggie of drugs, like I had to be furtive and hide the shame of my crime.

Moose Baby was in his high chair when I stashed the bag of limes first in my coat pocket, then in my purse where it would be safer, and when we made eye contact I'm telling you I could see disdain in his pudgy little face. I could almost hear him sigh and say, "I'm disappointed in you, mom. I thought you had moved past this, but I guess I was wrong."

But even that sad, psychologically-jarring reprimand did not stop me from carrying out my plan. I got to work even more determined to drink the stupid Coke and be done with the whole business, so I went straight up to the soda machine.

It was out of Coke.

Alas, even that did not deter me from consuming carbonation. I settled for stupid Pibb Xtra, squeezed in my stupid contraband limes, and drank my stupid forbidden soda.

And it was delicious.




This, my friends, is addiction.

Am I doing this right?

I've read more than once that to help keep your abs strong and your body aligned, you should engage your abs. Not just when you're working out, but in pretty much everything you do.

Engaging your abs is not sucking in, as as this fitness blog describes. It's like light flexing. You're not trying to show off your muscles and look cut, you're just keeping everything tight and tucked.

I've done this for years, and it really helps my back and posture—plus I look thinner (bonus!). But now I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing it right.

I first started thinking about this when I was pregnant, because engaging my abs was just not a possibility. When I stopped doing it, I noticed I could breathe deeper from my entire diaphragm. This is not so when my abs are engaged.

So, am I doing this right? If so, then does that mean engaging your abs is more important or better for you than deep diaphragm breathing, or is that kind of breathing not an all-the-time thing?

Anyone know?

Weekly recipe roundup

I've gotten a lot of questions about green smoothie recipes, so today's roundup is a step-by-step of how I make my smoothies. Keep in mind, though, that this is just a guideline. You can add anything you want, but this will give you the basics on how to make your own.

Ingredients

Here are the essentials: Fresh fruit, frozen fruit, greens, agave. You will need more than shown here, but this gives you an idea of what to buy.

You can use any fresh fruit you want. Apples, oranges and bananas are easy to get and cheap. I also really love fresh pineapple because it takes the bitter out of the greens easier.

You don't have to add any frozen fruit, but it's what makes it a smoothie. If you do all fresh, just add ice. Frozen is good because it's so easy to buy a giant bag of mixed fruit or berries (which are really good for you and turn the smoothie purple) rather than always having to keep so much fresh fruit on hand.

The agave is a natural sweetener that won't spike your blood sugar and is low cal. You don't have to add that either, it's just to make it sweeter.

Not pictured: Flax oil, or other essential oils. This is a great way to get them into your diet without a synthetic pill.

The main greens I use are spinach, kale and red chard (shown here) but you can use any dark leafy green: arugula, swiss chard, carrot tops, beet greens, collards, celery, etc. If you can't find them in your grocery store, try the organic section or a store like Whole Foods or Sunflower Market. I wash and cut up my greens and put them in a Tupperware Fridge Smart container so they're crisp and ready to go.

Instructions (for 4-cup smoothie)

Put 1 to 2 cups of water in your blender. Fill to the top with greens, unpacked.

Blend for about 30-60 seconds, or until liquefied.

Cut up fresh fruit and add to blender.

I usually give it a whirl for a few seconds to make room for the frozen fruit, which is added on top. Pictured here is a strawberry, mango and pineapple mix from Sam's Club.

Add agave (anywhere from a few tablespoons to 1/4 cup, to taste).

Using the smoothie button (if you have one), blend until smooth.

Pour in a portable drink container (like flip-top lid or nalgene bottle) or festive glass and drink up.

I have half of the smoothie throughout the morning and save the other half for my drive in to work around 2:30. You can drink it throughout the morning and the early part of your day and not even need lunch. The more greens you add, the longer you stay full.


Cheers!

Time to sober up

Last week started with a bang, with lots of fat-burning walks and good food. Then with the crappy weather (AGAIN) I lost all motivation to keep moving.

Then, as is becoming the norm, work sucked me into the dark side: I liberally snacked on donuts, chocolate and soda throughout the week. I would like to point out the cruel irony that just after I kicked my soda habit, they put in a soda fountain at work. Curse you, free and endless supply of Coca-Cola!!

Thankfully, I had a bit of a reality check yesterday when we took our little dude swimming for the first time. He had a blast, but not everything was roses for me. At first I was stoked that I fit into my swimsuit from two years ago (since last year's suit was maternity). Since I've had a baby, however, things are just not what they used to be. So while I started out in a swimsuit that fit, I ended with a suit that was practically falling off because it had been stretched to oblivion.

This is not the way I want to start swimsuit season.

Therefore, I am recommitting this week with a new set of goals:

• I will make my green smoothies daily. 
• I will do crunches every day.
• I will do at least 10 minutes of cardio every odd day.
• I will do push-ups every odd day.
• I will do lunges and squats every even day.
• I will celebrate my efforts.
• I will emerge victorious!

Weekly Recipe Roundup

These recipes come from readers Tammy and Danielle. Thanks, ladies, for your delicious contributions.

From Tammy:

Bran Muffins (Tammy Ault/Delsa Gifford)

Makes about 6 dozen

Cream together:

-1c shortening

-2 c sugar

-I tsp salt

-4 beaten eggs

Stir together and add to creamed mixture:

-5 c flour

-2 c bran flakes

-3 c all bran

-5 tsp soda

Add following and mix well:

-2 c boiling water

-2 cups raisins if desired

-1 quart buttermilk

Store in refrigerator up to six weeks using as desired.

To Bake:

Stir batter and fill greased or paper lined muffin tin 2/3 full. Bake for 20 min at 400 degrees.

A note from Tammy:

"I have started using unsweetened applesauce instead of the shortening. When you first make these up the batter will be runny but the bran will soak up the liquid a bit by the next day. Hope you enjoy them!"

Chicken Souvlaki Pita Sandwhiches

Makes about 4 servings

-2-3 chicken breasts

-2 tbsp low sodium soy sauce

-1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

-4 cloves of garlic, minced

-2 tsp olive oil

-1 tsp oregano

-2 whole wheat pitas cut in half

-1 large tomato

-2 cups shredded romaine lettuce

Whisk together soy sauce, lemon juice, garlic, olive oil and oregano and set aside..Cut chicken breasts into thin slices and put in above mixture, coating well. (I let mine marinate all day.) Cook chicken on stove top or bake in oven until thoroughly cooked.

Sauce for chicken

Mix well:

-1/2 cup fat free plain yogurt

-1/2 cup shredded cucumbers

-1 tbsp dried dill weed

-1/2 tsp garlic powder

Serve with sauce, chicken, shredded lettuce and tomatoes. Can also add onions and cheese if desired.

The next recipe comes from Danielle, who shared a link to an amazing and drool-inducing recipe blog For the Love of Cooking. I will DEFINITELY be checking that one out more often!

This recipe is for Chicken Lasagna. CLICK HERE to read and see step-by-step pictures along the way.

A note from Danielle: 

Like the woman says, it's really good when you need to gear up for a really big work out. What I found making this is, you can always add extra basil and garlic. Looks like a lot but when it cooks down, you don't get any pungent garlic taste. I also couldn't find baby bell peppers (aka sweet  peppers) so I used red orange and yellow bell peppers. 

That's it for this week. As always, please send recipes my way if you want to share the yumminess. Happy cooking!