I can do amazing things

Women and weight loss. It's a combination that's more parasitic than complementary. When undertaking any sort of get-fit program, if you're like me you spend 5% of your time devising a plan you can live with, 10% of your time acting on it, 15% of your time justifying why you haven't stuck to it, and the rest is spent bemoaning your size and shape and every little failure you've ever had.

The other day I was looking at photos of me in the hospital when Evan was born. While no woman looks good after giving birth, I've found particular disgust in my photos.

This is the result of 36 hours of labor followed by a C-section, and what feels like 5 gallons of IV fluid:

He is the most beautiful, perfect thing ever, and I'm a blimp in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

This is the one time a woman is allowed to look like she's been through hell and back, because she has, and all for the most noble cause in all mankind. I know this and I truly believe this—so why am I so ashamed of how I look in these photos?

It made me realize, if I can't look beyond my own appearance after undertaking such a grueling and miraculous feat, I have bigger image issues than I thought.

It's time to shift my point of view. From now on: 

I will not measure my life by its low points. I will celebrate myself for the amazing things I have done and will continue to do.

I may not be an Olympian or have a runner's body or resemble my former beauty queen self again. But I can do amazing things. Here are just a few:

1. I conceived, carried and gave birth to a healthy child.
2. I can soothe and care for this child when he is hurt, angry, tired or scared.
3. I am a caring friend and can make others feel validated and understood.
4. I can laugh and find happiness in life even when everything seems broken.
5. I have faith that everything will turn out well and I can persevere in times of crisis.

Rest assured, I am not abandoning my goal of being healthy and fit. I am simply choosing to reframe my quest. Instead of keeping track of every failure and bump in the road, I will be proud of what I do accomplish and vow to do my best every day. Even if I haven't reached any big fitness goals for the day, I will look for the positive in all things and stop overlooking the efforts I  continually make to be a good person and make someone's life a little better.

Now, for a little perspective. I was not made to look like this:

Or this:

Or this:

I was made to look like this:

Happy, healthy, and getting a kick out of life.

Most importantly, 

I was made to be this: