I keep having these end-of-the-world disaster dreams. Maybe it's because I work in the news and see this stuff every day. Maybe it's because, subconsciously, I feel I need to be better prepared -- not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Life is far too short to be wasting it and not living up to my potential.
A month or two ago I woke up from one of these dreams in a panic, sure it was some kind of sign that I needed to have emergency kits for my baby. Proudly I did complete these and now have one for not just our home but for his babysitter and both sets of his grandparents. I thought this would make the dreams go away, but I had another one last night that made me feel I need to be prepared in less physical ways.
After thinking about it, I've decided that in addition to getting my body in shape through this blog I need to work on the internal aspects of myself.
A year and a half ago I came to a similar decision in my life. I was stuck in a negative place and, despite all the good things I had going for me, I was angry, miserable and consumed by stress. I finally decided enough was enough. I realized it wasn't the external world that was causing these feelings; I was the one allowing them to foster and grow. If I wanted to be happy, I had to take control.
I started small and decided to first learn to control my stress. I did this by focusing on keeping my cool when driving. (Incidentally, I recently wrote an article on this for ksl.com.) The way I stayed calm was to drive compassionately -- meaning, remembering that everyone makes mistakes and I do it too, and that the things other people do on the road are not meant to personally offend or injure me. I let people in, I waved to others who let me in, I moved over for cyclists and I resisted the urge to tailgate or honk when someone was driving ridiculously slow.
It worked. Gradually I saw these habits take hold in other areas of my life. I learned to stop seeing the misdeeds of others as personal affronts and I learned to separate myself and my happiness from another person's anger. I became empowered to walk away from negative situations and gained confidence to seek out a better life. In the end, I became a happier person, a better friend, and a more patient and understanding wife. And now, it's helped me to be a caring and joyful mother.
Through all this I learned a major life lesson: If you want to change the behavior of someone else, all you have to do is change yourself. When you are kind, patient and caring, you will soften the hearts of those around you. If you change, everything else will too.
I like to think that the world (or at least my small corner of it) is a better place because of the joy I try to spread. But, even though I'm 10 times better than I was two years ago, there is still so much room for improvement.
So, in addition to working on my physical self, I will add new personal goals. I will continue my quest to find and spread happiness and to be a force for good in the world. Starting now.
For the week of May 22 - May 28, 2011:
Physical goals: Crunches daily, cardio three times a week
Personal goals: Smile at everyone I meet, sincerely compliment at least one person a day
Now... anyone else ready to change the world?
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